Orange Slices: US vs. Paraguay

UOrange Slices! USA vs. Argentina


G: Hahnemann

DEF: Chandler, DeMerit, Ream, Bornstein

MID: Donovan, Bradley, Edu, Dempsey

STR: Agudelo, Altidore

The need for SPEED.

Update: No Benny Feilhaber, Oguchi Onyewu (rumored hip issue) or Tim Howard tonight. Surprising on Howard, but we shall see. All but guarantees Boca and/or DeMerit are in the line-up.

Orange Slices is our game day, catch-all post that we update during the day before the match

Welcome to game day!

The United States Men’s National team led by Bob Bradley and Landon Dominator, don the red and blues today for their 2nd consecutive CONMEBOL opponent in World Cup quarter-finalist Paraguay.

Will they Mix it up?

Will Reams come true?

Isn’t it Sacha a good opportunity to introduce new players?

The ear-piercing puns end there; the play begins here!

Kickoff  is set for 5p.m Best Coast and 8 p.m. ET.

Haven’t got your fix: TSG’s Official USA vs. Paraguay Preview


English TV Broadcast: Fox Soccer (Wynalda and Sullivan at 4:30, Dellacamera and Martino at 5pm.)

Spanish TV Broadcast: Telefutura

Live at the stadium: TSG’s Jay Bell

Live Commentary: Right here at TSG, courtesy Shaun Webb

If you’re outside of the States, we’ll try and locate a good stream for you.

Weather forecast:

Not a cloud in the sky…BZZZZZZ! Wrong answer. Sidelines shots will likely see more than a few scattered fans in garbage bags. Not exactly galoshes weather, but the skies are supposed to cry around 6pm local time. 60º otherwise

More here.

Surf forecast:

Inland, March, c’mon! Although the National Park Service has instructions on how to approach the wildlife in the nearby Smokey Mountains.


JOLAZO!: Last time in da House, one Big Jeezy Jozy Altidore lit it up bagging all three goals as the US made the Soca Warriors of Trinidad & Tobago look like fools back on April 1st, 2009.

The line-up backing Jozy at L.P. Field that day:  1-Tim Howard; 2-Frankie Hejduk, 3-Carlos Bocanegra (capt.), 5-Oguchi Onyewu, 7-DaMarcus Beasley; 8-Clint Dempsey (16-Sacha Kljestan, 84), 12-Michael Bradley, 4-Pablo Mastroeni, 10-Landon Donovan, 11-Brian Ching (6- José Torres, 81), 17-Jozy Altidore

Where have you gone Pablo Mastroeni…and José Torres too for that matter.

That said, as this excellent piece points out today, echoes some of the concerns that have been wafting through TSG’s home office about the young American striker current in Turkey. Thanks to Charles Gooch at the Kansas City Star for the link.

Local Yocal: Shout out to local team USL team, the Nashville Metros, founded in 1989. An alum of that team? None other than current San Jose Earthquake keeper Jon Busch.

Captain America: Who’s the third leading scorer currently on the US roster for this encounter? That would be Captain Carlos Bocanegra. A haul of 12 goals in his national team career (just seven short of Dempsey mind you) and with his play-on header against Argentina, the Californian collected his 8th assist.

Supporting cast: Marketing, what marketing…two critical acknowledgements today and US Soccer should acknowledge as well.

A great effort to promote and create interest for this game was done by @soccerinTN on Twitter–relentless on promotion and if the US split the haul that the account helped generate for the game, well, easily a shiny new HDTV.

And the American Outlaws, profiled here by SI yesterday.

Pressed: This morning’s pre-match press conference:

32 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by John on 2011/03/29 at 9:42 AM

    What is the over under on the amount of times Jozy runs at three defenders and loses possession?


  2. Posted by Crow on 2011/03/29 at 10:51 AM

    Over/Under for John Harkes to use the following statements: “teasing/telling cross”, “Sam’s Army”, “service”…. anything I’m missing?

    He actually did better on Saturday night. I think Harkes should start receiving a numerical rating after each game as well.


    • Posted by John on 2011/03/29 at 11:09 AM

      The “two good comments by Harkes” lead, is the most dangerous one.


      • Posted by matthewsf on 2011/03/29 at 11:16 AM

        The Comment HOF lights just went on. The generator is purring…

        I might have to put up a “Favorite Harkesism comment piece” next time for him.

        Love Martino’s analysis and I’m going to tweet him off his game tonight, but over-under on “I played with that guy references”…10.


      • Posted by Crow on 2011/03/29 at 12:42 PM

        Good for you John! Great comment! Getting into the comment HOF is still unchecked on my Bucket List.


      • Posted by Dennis on 2011/03/29 at 2:42 PM

        Yes, you missed “excellent”.


    • Posted by Eric L on 2011/03/29 at 11:54 AM

      How many times vs Argentina did he say “The best player in the world”?


      • Posted by Dennis on 2011/03/29 at 4:59 PM

        Seriously, he must have said it at least 8 times. Absurd.

        It’s an example of the thing that drives me the most insane about ESPN and their men’s national team coverage – – they treat the audience as if they still don’t know anything about the game. It seems like most of the comments here come from people who actually played the game, which is an independent source of game IQ.

        But ESPN figures that those kind of fans will watch no matter what, so they cater their coverage to appeal to the average American who never played or doesn’t know much about the game, in the hopes that ratings will increase as more people decide to follow the national team. They just repeat the same old cliches about the game/players/teams and it gets beyond frustrating to listen to. Basically they insult the intelligence of the knowledgeable fan by having someone like Harkes or Lalas speak for them.

        If they want the game to grow, let it grow by people actually learning the game on their own through good commentary on MLS and the national team. John Harkes isn’t helping anyone understand the game, and he’s actually doing damage to the knowledge of the average soccer fan in some cases. I can’t remember how many times I heard people clamoring for Dempsey to not play anymore after the Confederation’s Cup because Harkes was berating his play. Dempsey obviously was and is a top 5 American player.

        I’m sure they told Harkes to do stuff like repeat “best player in the world” anytime he mentioned Messi, to both hype up the game and inform those who didn’t know (not to mention give everyone watching an excuse for a loss by the US). This of course is excruciatingly dumb because “best player in the world” is a subjective argument anyway, and you could make the case for a few other players even if Messi is in fact the best player in the world right now according to the majority of subjective opinions on the subject.

        ESPN needs to fire everyone – I’m looking at you Harkes, Lalas, Foudy, JP, Rob Stone – and use its buckets of evil Disney money to hire people who know what the hell they are taking about. Twell and Martino are a step in the right direction, but imagine if we got someone on the level of Ekoku for every men’s national team game. Additionally, someone far less lazy than I should get the ball rolling on the ESPN bottom line being removed during US games.

        Also, kids, get off my porch.


    • Posted by Berg on 2011/03/29 at 2:28 PM

      I’m going to put the odds at about the same for Bobby Knight using the words “ball fake” or beginning a sentence only to stop abruptly leaving 10 seconds of dead air.


  3. Any news on the official US Soccer USA v Paraguay drinking game?


    • Posted by matthewsf on 2011/03/29 at 11:45 AM

      Everytime Jozy gets the ball across the halfline, you drink heavily. Any ideas?

      This is precisely what the Orange Slices post is for.

      That, and illegal betting, last minute information, and bar check-ins from AO guys.


      • Posted by John on 2011/03/29 at 1:27 PM

        Any time there are 9 us defenders behind the ball and Jozy is in an offside position, you drink.


        • Posted by matthewsf on 2011/03/29 at 1:34 PM

          Any time Tim Howard/Marcus Hahneman screams at his defenders, turn away from the TV, run away and drink.

          Next time that defender gets challenged again, pre-emptively drink.


          • Posted by John on 2011/03/29 at 1:37 PM

            Any time a US defender executes a heel flick flair piece to get the ball out of danger, break out the Everclear.


        • Posted by Andy_4Lakes on 2011/03/29 at 2:39 PM

          “Any time there are 9 us defenders behind the ball and Jozy is in an offside position, you drink.”

          This actually made me laugh out loud! Too funny!


    • Jozy loses possesion: Drink
      US defenders pass intercepted: Two drinks
      Clint gives a Paraguayan that look: Pour a libation, Drink.
      Sacha Klejstan finishes off a hat trick: Finish every bottle in the house, it’s gonna be a long four years.


      • Every time Donovan waives an imaginary card at the ref = 1 drink

        Every Agudelo reference prior to him even warming up on the sideline = 1 drink


        • Posted by matthewsf on 2011/03/29 at 12:09 PM

          Amount of time from when Sacha Kljestan is on the bitch until he verbally abuses a ref…making a line here.

          3:20? Sound about right?


      • I’d modify the defenders one slightly:

        Every aimless hoof up the field to no one: 1 beer shot (anything greater, and you might die.)
        Every interception on own side of field: drink.

        If Spector starts (every time Spector gets burnt): drink
        If Dempsey plays (every time he gets in scuffle): drink.
        If Lichaj plays (every time he fouls): drink.
        Every time Agudelo is mentioned, everytime along the lines of “Let’s not hype him up to much but this guy looks exciting”: drink.

        For J.P. Dellacamera–every time he’s slightly late on a call–drink.


      • Posted by Crow on 2011/03/29 at 12:44 PM

        LOL- I love Deuce’s “look”. You know its coming.


    • Posted by Jake C. on 2011/03/29 at 12:27 PM

      This could get messy if Onyewu starts again.


      • Posted by Paul on 2011/03/29 at 5:24 PM

        Here’s a game sure to get you drunk:

        Take a drink everytime Ream completes a pass Gooch or Boca would have sent into row Z.


  4. Posted by Crow on 2011/03/29 at 12:45 PM

    Can Free Beer Movement brew up a home-brew of John Harkes Pompous A** Pale Ale?


    • I don’t think Dan would ever degrade the sanctity of his favorite style of beer by naming it after that no talent assclown.


  5. Posted by MJ on 2011/03/29 at 2:06 PM

    For those of us on the East coast where spanish tv is myth, are there any streams? Im desperate here! (We also don’t get Fox Soccer)


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