How To Dive & Cheat

In the spirit of yesterday’s UEFA Champion’s League match-up between Real Madrid and Barca. (Found by our sister publication The Guardian, UK)

13 responses to this post.

  1. Would love to see some numbers on how much time Barcelona spends with a man advantage compared to the average team in the knock-out stages of the champions league knock-out stages team. To be frank, they cheat to gain an advantage in these contests. It’s not diving to win free kicks. It’s cynically trying to get opposing players sent off. And they’ve been doing it for years. Frankly it’s disgusting and it’s why I hate Barcelona even though they’re capable of playing the most extraordinary football in the world. The fact is, without Iniesta they’re quite an ordinary team that happens to have the best player in the world to single-handedly win games.

    It really bothers me how everyone thinks that Madrid or whoever their opponent should just give them space to play their little triangles and not contest, challenge and try to win the ball. Barcelona usually take very little risk in possession to reach those lopsided 71% figures and this means they’re going to get fouled more. I think all this possession is actually an extremely negative tactic because rarely are they actually doing anything with it. They spent the first half knocking it around in their own half. This is their way of defending folks, and it’s every bit as negative as Mourinho putting 6 players in front of them in midfield.

    The point of calling things this tight is supposed to protect skilled players like Messi, Villa, Xavi from having lumps taken out of them to remove their influence on the game. But you don’t see them falling down clutching their faces or rolling around like they’ve been shot. It’s the second rate Dani Alves, Pedro, Sergio crew that are always doing this. These players aren’t that good, they don’t need to be protected from any and all physical contact or coming off second best on a 50-50 ball that’s a foot off the floor. Feigning serious injury and immediately returning to the pitch should be a yellow-card for time wasting.

    The Barcelona brigade think everyone should play Barcelona’s way and if they aren’t they aren’t playing football. But cheating to gain an advantage and then hoping Messi can win it for you? Is that football? If they’re really the best team in the world how come they always seem to need a man advantage to win matches at this level?


    • Agree completely. Alves and Pedro have to be called out for their diving. Why was Pedro grabbing his face and falling to the ground on a shoulder-to-shoulder challenge? Then the rest of the team spent the next 5 minutes complaining to the ref.


    • Posted by John Henry on 2011/04/28 at 8:33 AM

      If I could, I would immediately induct Tuesday’s comment into the TSG Comment Hall of Fame. Aside from a couple of exaggerations (Barcelona is hardly run of the mill without Iniesta), I think you’re exactly right. Seems like too many people who sing Barca’s praises turn a blind eye to all the negative, sleazy, cheap, cynical crap they pull every game.


      • Posted by matthewsf on 2011/04/28 at 8:36 AM

        A column coming shortly from Tuesday here.


      • Posted by Ben on 2011/04/28 at 9:17 AM

        As a Barca fan, I have to disagree about one thing – the diving and simulation are NOT ignored. 80-90% of the comments I have read on Barca forums after the match have heavily and virulently criticized the behavior of Busquets, Alves and Pedro.

        At the same time, this match was not typical. Most fans had been very pleased at Busquets and Alves this season for diving much less than they did last year. Unfortunately, they have reverted to their old behavior in the past few matches against RM. As for Pedro… I have no idea where that came from. I have never seen him exaggerate like that. The collision with Arbeloa was particularly shameful.


  2. Posted by Jake on 2011/04/28 at 7:54 AM

    I agree. I would like to see the following implemented:

    If the game is stopped for you, and you must leave the field due to “injury” then you must wait with the 4th official for 2 (arbitrary number, but something not insignificant) minutes. If the stretcher comes on, you wait for 5 minutes. After all, if the trainers/medics need to come see you are okay, we must give them time to truly make sure you are okay!


  3. Posted by John on 2011/04/28 at 8:20 AM

    Er: I am going to have to agree and disagree.

    Diving is awful.
    Feigning injury is awful.

    Here you have TWO teams (it’s not just Barcelona, Madrid is NOT a paragon of virtue in this regard) who excel at the dark arts.

    If Madrid really wants to shut everyone up about Pepe’s red card, than they should win in Barcelona, they managed to beat them in the Copa Del Rey with Barcelona’s ideals. Inter managed to beat Barcelona in the Champions League last year with Barcelona’s ideals. The issue is that Real Madrid has an absolute embarrassment of riches in terms of talent and showed up to play like Stoke v Manchester United.


  4. Posted by John on 2011/04/28 at 8:44 AM

    I would also like to know exactly WHY anyone would listen to Mourinho’s diatribes. The man isn’t coaching Crawley Town. He has coached two Elite and high money clubs in the last two years, and they have paid through the nose to get him the talent that he wants.

    He went away from the tactics in the Copa final, and attempted to be defensive more. If anyone is to blame for giving Barcelona 75% possession it is his own tactics.

    Yet he attempts to steer the narrative into this “Barcelona is a global force and their is a conspiracy against us” type stuff.

    He is managing REAL MADRID!?!!?!

    These are the people who proclaimed themselves the Galacticos. They have a bench player with the second highest transfer fee EVER. Their starting forward has the very highest transfer fee ever. They FIRED a coach who got them the highest point total they have ever had in La Liga. How in the world should I feel sympathetic towards anything Real Madrid has done to them is beyond me.

    While I agree that the simulation by Barcelona takes the shine off their victory, it is no more or less than Real would have done if the opportunity presented itself. Let’s not go swallowing Jose’s idiocy.


    • Posted by Johnny G on 2011/04/30 at 10:27 AM

      “How in the world should I feel sympathetic towards anything Real Madrid has done to them is beyond me.

      While I agree that the simulation by Barcelona takes the shine off their victory, it is no more or less than Real would have done if the opportunity presented itself. Let’s not go swallowing Jose’s idiocy.”

      No one’s asking you to feel any sympathy for Real Madrid. This is about Barcelona’s shameless cheating, which must be acknowledged. They’re not the only team that does this, but it is a bit disappointing to see this coming from the “greatest team ever”. You’d think a team this good can win by playing honest. Xavi and other Barca players keep saying that it doesn’t matter who their opponents are, who they manage, or what tactics they play, Barca has their own philosophy and will always play the same game, and they will come through regardless.

      Apparently they can’t handle overly defensive teams, so they have to gain an advantage any way they can even if dishonestly.

      Both teams go down easy to win a free kick. But there’s a difference between going down easy, and diving + simulation. Any time a player clutches their face, you know they are trying to get someone sent off. This is despicable, especially when they are never touched in the face. Mascherano attempted to do this in the CDR final and got Adebayor booked. Pedro did this and got Arbeloa unfairly booked also. Busquets jumped into Marcelo from behind and then went down and clutched his face, rolled on the floor for minutes in an attempt to get Marcelo sent off.

      You’ll find Madrid players going down easily like Barca players, but you won’t find them clutching their face trying to get opponents sent off!

      IT’S DIRTY. And it’s hard to call Barca the greatest team ever if they can’t do it with honesty.


  5. I only caught highlights of the Barcelona – Madrid match, but this video is hilarious. He nails the Ronaldo IV.


  6. Posted by mike on 2011/04/29 at 9:18 AM

    The Ronaldo III was by far my favorite. They should have included the Carrasco, where you use the opponents hand to slap yourself. if anyone hasn’t seen it yet.


  7. Posted by dude on 2011/04/30 at 12:32 PM

    All these were great. Loved “The Gerard” especially.


  8. Posted by ab on 2011/05/15 at 2:19 AM

    How Will Barcelona win against Manchester united? The cheats have a number of tricks up their sleeve. 1. They can probanly score a goal or two from off side positions, then later they can claim that they were beautiful goals and manchester united never got the ball. 2. The real problem with manchester is that their midfield lines and backlines are very organized, so the urgent need is to get one of the central midfielders or central defenders sent off. Then they can probably claim that “special players” like busquets and messi and iniesta need protection. (Yeah right, no body can play act the way these rascals do) 3. The next tactic is a special one, like they did against chelsea, barca can deny man united half a dozen penalties. And then they can always say later that they had the ball and the tackles and handballs were fair 4. They can also call a couple of united goals offside.————————————————————————————— All in all the cheats have a massive advantage even at wembley, especially the way UEFA has been licking barca rear ends. It will be a shameful demise of football if barca are to win at wembley.


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