MLS: Consider Yourself Challenged: New Season, New Calls

Well, we’re through First Kick weekened and if you had a chance through Direct Kick or MLS Pass to catch a gaggle of game, you heard a generally positive step-up in MLS game calls.

The culmination last night with a well-reheared call from Adrian healy on Kris Boyd’s first MLS Goal:

Healy: “New Country, Same Currency!”


TSG wants to help out the broadcasters–call us the R&D team–looking to improve their breadth of calls so we’ve started a roll call below for player calls–generally or in concert with “a moment.”

Please add more in the comments–I’m challenging expressely you, Brendan Hannan:

in concert with a certain

Sal Zizzo scores, “Zizzo….and That’s A Spicy Meatball!”

Eric Alexander, Portland or Will Bruin, Dynamo: “Alexander bangs it home. HOOSIER DADDY!”

Dax McCarty scores: “Dax the Facts! 1-0 Red Bulls.”

"C'mon man"

Taylor Twellman flubs a line on ESPN:

“Twellman, who’s had a series of concussions, dusts harke’s helmet on for that one.”

“Think TAYLOR DOT ORG….visit it some time!”

Osvaldo Alsono with a crunching tackle, “File that one under things Xabi doesn’t even do.”

Kenny Cooper, “Super Dooper Cooper puts another through hoopa!”

Landon Donovan scores: “Landy Cakes working on his baker’s dozen.”

Conor Casey, “Is he bald? Is he clean? Do you want to sleep with him? It’s Conor Casey with a pristine finish!” (Swingers)

Thierry Henry misses a sitter: “Henry statuesque on the rebound.”

Fabian Espindola slots home for RSL: “Under the keeper downtown…he put that GOAL AWWAAAY!”

Perry Kitchen with a tackle for DC United, “Can’t stand that heat! You know what to do”

Chris Albright skies one out of bounds, “The Old Man….into the sea.”

Richardo Villar, FC DAllas with a tackle: “Oh Lucy! I’m home!”

Chad Barrett, “Wait, I don’t have anything for Chad Barrett…pause”

Zac Boggs, goal, Revolution, “Chicken DINNER!”

Servando Carrasco misses a sitter, “And you just know that Alex wouldn’t’ve hesitated there.”

Gabriel/Michael Farfan makes a boneheaded play, “Let’s call that….a Danny DeVito.”

Luis Gil beats a man 1-on-1: “As easy as yesterday’s gym class.”

Your move…..


20 responses to this post.

  1. Some pairing of David Ferreira, Fabian Castillo, Jair Benitez, or Hernan Pertuz combine for a goal: “The Columbian connection blows the ball past the white line!”


  2. Marco Pappa pwns someone: “Who’s your Pappa!?!”

    A.J. DeLaGarza gets the Galaxy fans worked up: “Say what you like about Adolph, he knows how to work a crowd…”

    Tackle by Montreal’s Hassoun Camara: “Click!”

    Jhon Kennedy Hurtado is seen asking for help marking opposition attackers on a corner kick: “Ask not what your Colombian defender can do for you, ask what you can do for your Colombian defender.”


  3. And Perez Blases one past the keeper!


  4. Posted by Turd Ferguson on 2012/03/13 at 12:52 PM

    Sporting KC needs some more hits from Sapong.


  5. Posted by twewlife on 2012/03/14 at 11:36 AM

    Freddy Adu beats a man on the dribble – adieu, adieu, to you and you and you.


  6. Posted by twewlife on 2012/03/14 at 11:37 AM

    keeper makes a mistake leading to a goal – there’s a whole in the bucker dear liza dear liza.


  7. Posted by twewlife on 2012/03/14 at 11:39 AM

    Landon Donovan produces an excellent through ball: if you want it done right you have to donovan it yourself


  8. Posted by twewlife on 2012/03/14 at 11:46 AM

    brek shea: Shea takes his man to the pottery barn where many a man can tell if that if you brek it, you bough it.


  9. Posted by dikranovich on 2012/03/14 at 5:52 PM

    it would be nice to see the sounders send santa lucia mama mia laguna and their american out of ccl. this is the perfect game for eddie johnson to come on in the second half and make a little bit if a statement. dont forget, this is goal keeper bandito numero uno on the dung list, for his swipe a couple years back on ej, when he got toasted by ld. attempted swipe, i should say.


    • I think that was actually Beasley he swiped out and missed. Terribly dirty play, that you never heard anyone comment on during the telecasts.


  10. Sorry meant, “swiped at”


  11. Posted by dikranovich on 2012/03/14 at 6:19 PM

    dont worry, they will bring it up when ej steps on the field, and if our boy bags one, maybe they will show the highlight.


  12. Posted by dth on 2012/03/14 at 6:45 PM

    So…are we all going to nickname them the “Flounders”? This has been done, right?

    Geez, Seattle always chokes in big games. Way to represent MLS.


  13. Posted by dikranovich on 2012/03/14 at 6:50 PM

    yeah, its one of those mexico v usa scorelines that belies how close the game was, opperative word is WAS.


  14. Posted by dth on 2012/03/14 at 8:59 PM

    And….Galaxy go out. Great win for TFC; Galaxy have not exactly lived up to the “superclub” hype so far. Can we expect mea culpas from the columnists who opined an end of parity in MLS?


    • Posted by mbw on 2012/03/14 at 9:36 PM

      At the very least, mea culpas about treating the loss of O.G. as a footnote in their stories about the return of Beckham, Buddle, and Juninho.


  15. If I take off my Portland hat for a few seconds and try to analyze the Santos/Seattle game the thing that stands out to me is the absolute lack of pressure by Seattle. They were simply content to sit back and let Santos have a good half of the field for most of the game.

    You can’t blame the altitude because it is 2000 feet lower than Denver and 1000 feet less than SLC.

    You can’t blame the scheduling because Seattle didn’t play over the weekend.

    It seems suicidal to go into Santos home stadium and try to sit back, play defense and hit on the counter when your whole personality is about trying to control the game, score goals and put the other team on the back foot.

    It was a mesmerizing collapse defensively and a lackluster performance up top.

    Really it was almost as though Schmid basically said “everything that worked in the first game, don’t do that again”

    All of the above said, you MUST give plaudits to Santos for their performance. It was clinical, dissecting and dangerous. They finished with aplomb when given the chance and quickly figured out that they could simply go at the back line of Seattle without too much resistance.


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