EPL Primer: Prem’s Entertainment Best XI

What really counts is ridiculousness.

Welcome back to the Prem, Tiger Wales ... not the mug, but the fans have missed ya...

Welcome back to the Prem, Tiger Wales … not the mug, but the fans have missed ya…

Here’s the question: On field or off, which SOBs are the craziest and most entertaining motherf*ck*s to have played some Premiership ball?

Rules: There are none. It can be due to a single event or it can be the whole body of work.

Workshopping the following:

G: Jens Lehmann

– Once pissed on the field. Urine, buddy!

DEF: John Paintsil

– Allegedly stabbed wife in the eye

DEF: Alex Cole

– Shot an intern with a BB gun.

DEF: John Terry

– Screwed a teammate’s wife among an incredible body of work…

DEF: Titus Bramble

– Just Google him.

MF: Vinnie Jones

Among other things. Like this.

MF: Joey Barton

– No explanation necessary

MF: Craig Bellamy

– Went golfclub on a teammate

FW: Mario Balotelli

This is on Balotelli’s home grounds

CF: Nicklas Bendtner

Just one episode.

FW: Cantona

Manager: Ian Holloway

Honorable Mentions: Luis Boa Morte, Stan Collymore, Jay Jay Okocha, Paul Scholes, Manuel Almunia, Wayne Rooney, Luis Saurez…

5 responses to this post.

  1. Love the Cantona pic. “You talking to me? YOU talking to ME?”


  2. Posted by GeorgeCross on 2013/08/16 at 10:15 AM

    Matt, as an Everton fan, I am surprised you left off Big Duncan Ferguson.


    • Posted by matthewsf on 2013/08/16 at 10:21 AM

      Shoot – I had him honorable mention as well as The Yak! Thanks for the reminder. Whose Palace’s craziest player. BTW, I’m going to be all over you on Palace this year!


      • Posted by GeorgeCross on 2013/08/16 at 11:10 AM

        Neville Southall’s sulking was legendary. As was his going home rather than celebrating with the lads during the 80’s drinking culture.

        I’d probably go with Jim Cannon. Not so much that he did anything crazy, but everyone knew not to f*ck with him.

        I am just going to enjoy the season as much as I can – unfortunately, this is as good as it gets for Palace without a massive cash injection. But I wouldn’t change a thing.



  3. Posted by SamT on 2013/08/22 at 10:06 AM

    “Honourable mention: Paul Gascoigne. Often pissed on and off the field. Alcohol, buddy.”


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