(Part II of II) TSG Goes Playground Again: USMNT UberDraft #4

If you missed Part I … well you shouldn’t miss Part I. This is Part II.

And now–before you foot–the counsel for each team would like a word to sway your mouse click/finger swipe.

Prestige Worldwide FC


Manager: Neil Blackmon


GK- Tim Howard, 2013

LB- Eddie Lewis/Carlos Bocanegra, 2005

LCB- Carlos Bocanegra, 2009

RCB- Jay DeMerit/Onyewu, 2009

RB- Michael Parkhurst/Timothy Chandler, 2013

CM- Ricardo Clark, 2009

CM- Jermaine Jones, 2013

LM- DaMarcus Beasley, 2005

RM- Landon Donovan, 2009

FW- Clint Dempsey, 2013

STR- Brian McBride, 2005


MID: Sacha Kljestan, 2009 (see what I did there?)

D MID: Geoff Cameron, 2013

ATTACKING SUB GROUP: Shea, Wondowlowski, Gomez (and there?)

I did exercise options to switch Convey for Beasley 2005 and Kljestan, double-pivot with Michael in rout of Mexico in C-Bus, 09, with Beasley 09 off bench.

Brother, we got this.

Brother, we got this.

Logic:  Now that you’ve seen the teams, Eric Wynalda and Prestige Worldwide FC have only one question: Are you guys gonna invest?

Here’s why you should. First, we have the two best players. Jorge Perea’s boy Clint Dempsey 2013 and GO GO USA 2009. Those two will demand excellence. Throw in Brian McBride 05 and we have the best striker to hold the ball up for those two as well. But your team lacks width (outside of Beasley 05) you say, and your center halves will get beat by Ghana.
The last part was a low blow, and US 2, Spain 0…but the reality is every one of these sides has warts. So with our width and central mids we won’t exactly play total football. Who cares? We can limit our weaknesses with smart substitutions. Let’s be honest: Geoff Cameron is coming in around minute 30 in every game, and Wynalda’s probably giving either Ricardo Clark or Michael Parkhurst (Chandler will miss his flight here, to be sure) a hug. Cameron makes a stout defense even tougher to break down, and we dare you to beat us with crosses into the box. 09 Sacha Kljestan makes our midfield better too. And if all else fails, we’ve got 2013 TIm Howard- so if we dress the opponent up in Man City jerseys, we’ll have the best goalkeeper too.


Oil Money FC


Manager: Eric Giardini

GK – Tim Howard, 2009

LB- Run DMB/Fab Johnson, 2013

LCB- Oguchi Onyewu, 2005

RCB- Eddie Pope/Jimmy Conrad, 2005

RB- Hejduk/Cherundolo, 2005

LM- Clint Dempsey, 2009

CM- Pablo Mastroeni, 2005

CM- Claudio Reyna, 2005

RM- Graham Zusi, 2013

FW- Landon Donovan, 2005

STR- Josmer Altidore, 2013


MID: Eddie Johnson, 2013

D MID: Ben Olsen, 2005

ATTACKING SUB GROUP: Casey, Holden Torres, 2009

Go time.

Go time.

FC Drambuie


Manager: Zack Goldman


GK- Kasey Keller, 2005

LB- BORNSTEIN/Bocanegra, 2009

LCB- Matt Besler, 2013

RCB- Goodson/Gonzalez, 2013

RB- Cherundolo/Spector, 2009

LM- Landon Donovan, 2013

CM- Michael Bradley, 2013

CM- Michael Bradley, 2009

RM- Clint Dempsey, 2005

FW- Charlie Davies, 2009

STR- Jozy Altidore, 2009


MID: Benny Feilhaber, 2009

D MID: Edu, 2009

ATTACKING SUB GROUP: EJ, Taylor Twellman, Josh Wolff, 2005

Two opponents: Lunch and Dinner.

Two opponents: Lunch and Dinner.

Logic:   FC Drambuie is elated with this crop of players, who are deployed in a 4-4-2. Starting in the midfield, the core of this XI, every USMNT fan dreams of a side powered by a pair of Michael Bradley’s at center mid. We’ve got that here, and they are flanked by the dynamic Clint Dempsey of 2005 and the wily vet version of Landycakes who just set the Gold Cup alight.

It is a solid, incisive midfield core that feeds into perhaps the most kinetic and effective forward pairing—short-lived as it was—in recent USMNT history with Charlie Davies and Jozy Altidore of last cycle leading the line. In the back, Matt Besler and Omar Gonzalez—green as they may be—form a duo that has grown remarkably and formidably in under a year together. A potential lack of rearguard experience, leadership, and poise at the international level is compensated for with 2009’s Carlos Bocanegra and Steve Cherundolo, who offer all that in spades, in addition to Kasey Keller, probably the best organizer of a backline in modern USMNT goalkeeping history (AKA the man who made Jimmy Conrad look like Maldini).

Creativity off the bench in Benny Feilhaber (’09), defensive help and set-piece danger from super-sub Maurice Edu (’09), and potential late game heroics from human battering ram/flying squirrel Taylor Twellman ’05 should come in handy as well.

Invest in us.

Now, you. go. vote!

5 responses to this post.

  1. […] Guest: Brazil 2014: What’s The Americans Odds of Winning? (Part II of II) TSG Goes Playground Again: USMNT UberDraft #4 […]


  2. Posted by Biggy on 2013/09/18 at 10:23 PM

    I don’t love your central midfielders Oil Money, but your defense is the most solid and Demps 09 + Altidore 13 is a terrifying prospect, especially with Most Hair Landon buzzing around. It just edges Draumbie’s Bradley – Bradley midfield partnership, which could only be better if you could somehow bring Bradley 05 off the bench.


    • Posted by s44 on 2013/09/18 at 10:53 PM

      Unfortunately, Most Hair Landon was at his best when given the keys while Reyna was gone. When he came back he stole Donovan’s #10 shirt and mojo, along with the team’s identity.


  3. Posted by Jay Bell on 2013/09/19 at 9:06 AM

    It’s a clear-cut Prestige victory for me. You have the second best defense and the most defensive MF pairing, but you have arguably the three best goal creators in USMNT history. Beasley ’05, Donovan ’09 and Dempsey ’13 are at the height of their playmaking abilities. You can find some goals with that group.

    Oil Money has the strongest defense and the best strikers, but who is going to create the goals? It’s like the US in 2009 without Landon Donovan. Who’s going to set up LD and Jozy?

    Drambuie has easily the worst defense, IMO, with the shakiness of Goodson/Gonzalez and Bornstein/Bocanegra. You’ve got a damn good midfield, but some iffy and streaky strikers.


    • Prestige’s midfield is also at risk for being a bottomless bucket real quick given Clark and Jones’s propensities for picking up cards with rash challenges.


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